Lost and found

So my CRAZY ass relationship has somehow been found....I think im just scared (i dont admit that normally) , and this "travis" was my excuse to yes fight. not all of our fights are my fault of course he is still the idiot i said he was. so anyways to our recent extravaganza (probably spelt that wrong dont hold it against me) he came home from work and i was laying in bed with a headache, he walked in and didnt even say hello, he just sat down at my computer and started complaining about how my computer wasnt working,.....wrong thing in my mind. soooo we started fighting about how i dont give him enought attention, and how he doesnt give me enough attention. how are we supposed to work that shit out....THEN he pulls the you dont have sex with me enough, well god damn it if i dont want to have sex then I DONT WANT TO! respect that shit. and thats what i told him sooooo we decided he needed to go find somebody else...somebody who WILL give him all the sex he wants. i left him alone for a few minutes and came back and gave in like a little wimp. told him we can work it out....why is it i cant just leave him, i cant imagine him with anyone else, and vice versa, i hate the fighting but yet all he needs to do is romance me, a little sweeping of my feet off the floor would do the trick!

Hopeless romantic I am........

this crazy ol' broad

Alright this is a good one......
i work in registration and this is the best job, only because i get to sit back and watch how everyone bitchs and complains about thier work, well yesterday at our meeting i finally told them to shut the fuck up and do their work.... so to the point of this the one and only person i get along with here in my department happens to be a woman old enough to be my grandmother.....
if i had a picture of her i would put it on but i dont....she is the greatest she acts like she is 21 drinks beer everynight and just keeps me laughing. when i first started working there i remember being taken aback when she would talk to me....she swears and she doesnt care who you are she will tell you what she thinks!thats exactly why i admire her so much. She can turn around out of no where and tell me to shut the fuck up and all we do is laugh about it....there should be people like her at every job, it makes going to work exciting i look forward to it everyday.
so bringing me to another point, my lovely oh so lovely boyfriend can be a jack ass....a big jack ass! he was sweet when i first met him (we met at a wedding i was maid of honor and he was best man kind of romantic right?) well now he just gets cranky all the time and fights with me over nothing.....so this lovely woman i work with finally tells me today, get the fuck rid of him.
well its not that easy,....i love him, and even tho we fight i just think of the good times we have and that keeps me with him....... so question: is it worth it? fighting everyday just for the hour or two that are fun? is it fair? fucked if i know


HELP

murder in my town...i want to quit my job

I'm working right now, 6 am,.....im half asleep reading the paper and read that my lovely safe little town has had a murder.....what the fuck a murder this is a joke....but no really i live a mile away from where it happened. A man (that just happens to work at the same hospital as me) decided that he wanted to kill his wife......this crazy fucking man killed her with a sludge hammer......with two kids in the house...what kind of crazy person is this make me think i should move from this town, just 2 months ago a woman who used to work at the hospital shot to kill her husband....maybe its in the water but that is too much for me. OH and the best part, this husband that killed his wife called 911 and says,"I THINK i just killed my wife" talk about mad man!

dating.....

Your Ideal Relationship is Serious Dating

The Simple Life Who lives a simple life? nobody! and if you do i'd like to live your life and i would find something even the littlest thing to prove you do not have a simple life. Example: couch potato's Simple? No here's why: there life is full of nothing, sounds simple but what if all of a sudden they need to go somewhere that must be stressful seeing as they are leaving the only thing they know. my sister is another example, she is a rather large woman....and no im not exagerating. we look nothing alike, one of us must be adopted, anyways she is a couch potato. she is 24 still lives with my parents, does not have a lisence, never even tried, she relys on the people around her to do everything......no job, she expects my parents to buy her everything......the only time you will see her out of her room is for the bathroom or to go to the kitchen for her frequent food feeding. she lives off of video games and childrens toys, yet she isnt handicaped like other adults who have mental capacity of a 3 year old, she just enjoys child like things. now look i've babbled about nothing, maybe i just wanted to get that off my chest...... I need a life..... AMAZING PEOPLE Alright, so i admit YES i have a boyfriend, and i love him..... The hospital im working in is doing A TON of construction so that means there are tons of exremely buff and gorgeous men working in front of me all day long....how is a girl suposed to concentrate with all that testosterone? Anywho ONE just ONE guy has caught my eye...which is hard.: Name:Travis Amazing ability: The smile....he has this smile that can just make any horrible day seem to never have existed. even if a buldozer just ran over my brand new honda civic, all he would need to do is smile! Problem:We both have significant others.... Feelings:neither of us are happy in out relationship but niether have the heart to leave the other or in my case i dont have the strength. Flirtatious meeting: He works from 7am untill 8Pm, im done work at 3Pm....therefore after working near him alll day long and daydreaming about what it would be like to strip him and an empty room, or even the elevator, i go home, i change clothes, and i go back.....just to say "Hey" nothing has happened but of course we both talk about it, we both want it too, but neither of us wants to cheat on our other partners.....so hard so hard still working, finally catching on at first i wanted to complain about everything wrong in my life, but isnt that pointless? of course it is, its proposterous. work is so overrated, i work in a hospital, whooptydedoo. of course when i see the kids that come in a just love it, i'm good at what i do, putting on a smile and making other people happy when they should be crying. is that right? should I make them happy, or should i sit there and let them cry and just offer them a hand to hold, or a should to lean on. I worry about complete strangers, when i should worry about myself....is there anyone else out there like me? shouldnt i only care about myself,and my family...... recent extremeties well since this is my first entry, how do i begin. I havn't had a journal since i was in 7th grade, and even then all i did was talk about the boys i "loved". now im 20,....20 fucking years old..and what do i do? I work, and work, and i dont want to do anything else, all i want to do is work and sleep. I love my boyfriend, he is great, but we have problems, we fight, we fight alot. so then why am i with him? because im scared to be alone? which that cant be it i was alone for months before i met him, argh life seems so hard....it shouldn't be. i should be happy, i should be going out with my friends, not worrying about whether my boyfriend is happy, or whether i did something right. I can finally admit that im officialy depressed. isnt that super? haha no its not, but i'll learn im forcing myself to be happy, i dont care how i do it.....help