recent extremeties

well since this is my first entry, how do i begin. I havn't had a journal since i was in 7th grade, and even then all i did was talk about the boys i "loved". now im 20,....20 fucking years old..and what do i do? I work, and work, and i dont want to do anything else, all i want to do is work and sleep.
I love my boyfriend, he is great, but we have problems, we fight, we fight alot. so then why am i with him? because im scared to be alone? which that cant be it i was alone for months before i met him, argh life seems so hard....it shouldn't be. i should be happy, i should be going out with my friends, not worrying about whether my boyfriend is happy, or whether i did something right. I can finally admit that im officialy depressed. isnt that super? haha no its not, but i'll learn im forcing myself to be happy, i dont care how i do it.....help